


Better To Have Loved And Lost

by oldmountainsoul



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: But mostly fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, F/F, Fear of Death, Fluff and Angst, Making Up, Reconciliation, Reunions, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-01
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-17 14:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5873245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldmountainsoul/pseuds/oldmountainsoul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Liara comes to terms with the fact that no matter what happens, she will outlive Casey Shepard, and thus lose her again. Mostly fluffy and snuggling, and not nearly as dark as the title would suggest. Set during ME3.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Better To Have Loved And Lost

“Shepard?” Liara asks, knocking lightly on the commander’s door. “I know you’re in there. I... I just wanted to see that you’re all right.” She pauses, considering what to say when Casey doesn’t answer. She takes a deep breath, “I know that I said that I needed more time, that we both agreed that we shouldn’t rush back into… into what we had before.”  _ Before you died. Before the Reapers came back, before we were running from one crisis to the next. _

 

“But time isn’t a luxury we have anymore. And seeing you-- seeing you on Rannoch, alone and engaging a  _ Reaper  _ on foot for Goddess’s sake. I suppose it put things in perspective for me. I need to see for myself that you’re all right.”  _ That you’re alive. That you’re really still here.  _

 

The door slides open with a hiss and Casey Shepard steps out, dressed in N7 pajamas and vigorously rubbing her still damp hair with a towel. “Uh sorry, I was in the shower. EDI only just let me know there was someone at the door.” Shepard grins sheepishly, gesturing towards her cabin. “Wanna come in and chat for a bit?” 

 

“It seems you’ve caught me floundering for words again, just like old times,” Liara laughs softly.  _ She’s here, she’s alive, she’s real,  _ she thinks, resisting the urge to pull her close, to thread her fingers in Shepard’s hair and feel the proof for herself. “Yes, I would like to talk,” she says instead, following as Casey ushers her inside. 

 

Liara takes a seat opposite Shepard on the couch, fidgeting with her hands as she works up the courage to find her words again. “Last time we talked, we agreed that we both needed time. It.... It has been a long three years, Casey. It’s still all but unbelievable to me that you’re actually here in front of me, alive and well.” 

 

Shepard lets out a long sigh, “It’s still pretty unbelievable to me too, Li. Especially after, well-- it’s been a long day.” 

 

“It certainly has been. Goddess, you must be completely exhausted. I’m sorry, now must be the worst time to be having this conversation--”

 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Liara. I’ve always got time for you.” 

 

“And that’s what I wanted to talk about. Time isn’t a luxury we have anymore. I almost lose you every day, and while I have the utmost faith in you, to defeat the Reapers, to come back to me in one piece, no matter how the war turns out, someday I will lose you again. And I… I wasn’t sure if I was ready to accept that. The first time-- when you died, I was totally lost. I did everything in my power just for a chance to get you back. It totally consumed me. I was afraid, I was hurting, I was desperate. I never wanted to feel that way again. But it is simply a risk, a fact of life. Even in the best of scenarios, I will outlive you by centuries.”

 

“Or we both die in a freak accident. That’s still a possibility,” Shepard suggests sarcastically.

 

Liara arches an eyebrow, leveling a sobering glance at Shepard. “Yes, I suppose that is still a possibility.” 

 

“We could die any day, caught up this mess,” Shepard says softly. 

 

“Yes, we could. And that is why I wanted to discuss this with you. I won’t presume to know your feelings, but I still care for you, Casey. I care deeply. I never stopped caring about you. I just needed to distance myself, I needed time to adjust, after so long without you, hoping you’d return but fearing the worst. I love you. No matter what happens tonight, or tomorrow, or in a hundred years. I love you, here and now.” 

 

Shepard freezes for a moment, staring at her feet. “I love you too, Liara T’soni,” she whispers. “Always have.” 

 

“Do you want to try this again? ...Us?” 

 

“Yeah,” Shepard says, finally working up the courage to look Liara in the eyes. “Yeah, I do.” She reaches across the couch, lacing her fingers through Liara’s. 

 

“I would, too,” Liara smiles, allowing herself to hope for the first time in months.

 

Shepard pulls her closer until Liara’s all but sitting in her lap. “Do you think you could stay? Like until morning? Just curled up together?” She glances behind her, “Maybe on the bed though.” 

 

“That might be the more comfortable option,” Liara smiles. “I’d love to stay, if you’ll have me.” 

 

“Then you might need some pajamas, here--” Shepard hops to her feet, striding across the room and grabbing a bundle from her drawers. She tosses it to Liara, who turns it over in her hands. 

 

“‘Official N7 sleepwear.’ Commander, are you sure this is within regulations?” she teases. 

 

Shepard waggles her eyebrows, “Well, Dr T’soni, I won’t file a report to the Alliance if you don’t. Think you can keep a secret?” 

 

Liara laughs at that, as she quickly sheds her coat and pulls the pajama top over her head. “I might,” she says wryly. “With the proper incentive, of course.” 

 

“I think that can be arranged,” Shepard grins. She sweeps Liara up in her arms once the asari’s changed into her pajamas, carrying her to the bed. They snuggle up under the blankets together, tangled up in the sheets and in each other’s arms. Liara wraps her arms tight around Casey's waist, nestling in under her chin, listening to her breathing, her heartbeat, breathing in her scent. Even after all this time, and all of Cerberus's experiments, it's still the same. It's still so unmistakably  _her._

 

“I’ve missed this, you know.” 

 

“Missed what?” Shepard teases. 

 

“Well….” Liara drawls. She trails teasing fingers up Shepard’s arms, squeezing her biceps. “I’ve definitely missed these,” she says wryly. Then she shifts, pressing her hands flat against Shepard’s abs. “And these.” Finally, she pulls Shepard close, tangling her fingers in her hair. “And this,” she whispers. Liara arches up, pressing a soft kiss to Shepard’s forehead. “But mostly this.” 

 

“I’ve missed that, too,” Shepard smiles, nuzzling Liara’s nose. “A bit nicer bed this time, though.” She gives Liara a pointed grin, looking her straight in the eyes. “But the view’s as lovely as ever.” 

 

Liara snorts, covering her mouth as she laughs. 

 

“Hey, not all of us had three years to practice being smooth as hell,” Shepard mock-pouts. And then she softens, pulling Liara all the closer. “I’ve missed you too, Li. I’ve missed you so much.” 

  
“We’re here now, love. ‘Whatever tomorrow may bring, we will always have tonight,’” Liara says, snuggling close to Casey’s chest. They will be safe here, if only until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos to you if you caught that one Jade Empire reference


End file.
